Understand the Link Between Childhood Relationships and Present Relationships
Recognizing patterns in your relationships is the first step to getting unmet needs satisfied. It is no mistake that we find partners who will recreate familiar frustrations we experienced growing up. According to Imago theory, this creates an opportunity for partners to work together to heal childhood wounds. For example:
- If you had to take care of family members, you may find yourself always taking care of your partner.
- If you felt nobody would listen or take you seriously, you may feel unheard or misunderstood.
- If you grew up with a lot of family anger and/or violence, you may avoid any conflict or constantly bicker.
- Learn New Relationship and Communication Skills
There are many examples: if you grew up in a family with addictions, betrayal/infidelity, abuse, etc. you may find yourself in similar roles. You and your partner will identify the defenses you developed to protect yourself in the past, but today interfere with intimacy.
In the Imago process, the therapist coaches each partner to listen without interrupting or constructing answers before the other is finished. By slowing down the communication process you will both feel better understood and less reactive. Really understand your partner’s world view and perspective in a way that gets your mutual needs met. Discover that your partner’s reaction may be less about you but more about a wounded place in herself.
When your issues are broken down and stated directly under the guidance of an experienced coach you will learn to do the dialogue/skills to handle conflict outside of therapy.
Contact me today to learn more about Imago Relationship Therapy and let’s talk more about how I can help.